Weight Loss

Or lack thereof...

My friends and I have been doing weekly weight loss check ins for the last few weeks. I will admit week 1 I didn't really try because we were still trying to get rid of leftovers from Christmas. But the last two weeks I have been trying really hard. I have been walking a lot, all around campus. I probably walk around 1 mile 4x/week. Now compared to a month ago where I only walked around my house and maybe Target and the grocery store. Now you would think that in and of itself would at least help me lose a lb or two. But nope.

Now you are probably asking yourself well, what is she eating? Granola bar for breakfast, turkey and cheese with mustard sandwich for lunch and a side of fruit, and a well balanced dinner. We bought some of those 100 calorie packages, a variety of them. And I have 1 of those for snack in the afternoon.

But I am still at the same weight I was weeks ago. Last year I worked just as hard to lose weight, walking to and from the local park with Wyatt, a good mile and a half 3x week and eating healthy. By March I had not lost any weight. By August I was still at the same weight so I just gave up. And when I gave up I gained a lot of weight. Then I went on clomid and now I am an additional 10 lbs from what I was 3 months ago.

It is really depressing trying and failing. Although at this point if I gain anymore I could double as Shamu's well, double. Only not as impressive because I can't swim as awesome. So now if I can just maintain my current weight it would be alright. Losing wight would judt be a huge fantastic bonus!

My best friend Brooke

Kellys Korner Blog is having a Matchmaker link up this week and I am introducing to you all my best friend, Brooke.

Brooke is an amazing person. She is 23, soon to be 24 years old, and lives in NE Oklahoma. She is hilarious, smart, beautiful inside and out, and all in all just a wonderful person. She loves joking around and has a fantastic sense of humor. When ever anyone is feeling down and Brooke comes around it doesn't take long for everyone to start laughing and feeling better. Everyone loves her and she is extremely fun to be around.
(Brooke being silly in the snow)

She is currently in Law School and wants to become an international lawyer. Brooke loves to travel, meet new people, and sports. Brooke has been to Vietnam twice on mission trips and has traveled throughout the US. She is an all sports lover, football, baseball, hockey. And she is also in to politics, she has worked for a few local campaigns. She also is kind of a big deal because she worked in the US Senate (At least I think thats a big deal!!).

(Brooke in Vietnam)

Brooke likes the shows Dexter, Criminal Minds, and 30 Rock

Her favorite movies are Pirates 1-3, National Treasure, 12 Angry Men, Runaway Jury, and Indiana Jones

Her favorite bands are 30 Seconds to Mars, AAR, Switchfoot, and Capital Lights

Now, I know what your thinking, doesn't she read? Indeed she does! She likes to read classical novels like the Count of Monte Cristo, Shakespeare, the Lais of Marie de France, and Farenheit 451. Those are just a few of the books she loves.

(Brooke volunteering for Habitat for Humanity)

She is looking for a guy that is trustworthysmart, caring and has a good sense of humor. Someone who likes sports and similar music interests would be a huge plus!! Also someone who enjoys traveling and is also social. Although if your a wallflower have no fear, Brooke has a way of bringing the best out in people! She would prefer someone in the NE Oklahoma area as well. Also, huge plus if you are a good speller to make up for her lack of good spelling!

(Brooke at an NFL Game)

Appointment is set

Ok, so we have our RE appointment set up for Feb 10. And husband has an appt on Feb 9 with his uro. We are wanting this RE appointment to just figure out what the heck is going on with me. I truly believe if the fix the reason I have been losing my hair, endlessly exhausted, can't lose weight but gain gain gain, and just do not feel like myself then I will also start ovulating on my own again. And maybe have a real LP again instead of these short ones that are not good for sticky babies.

So, that is where we are. Waiting. And hoping. And praying. We went to church two Sundays ago trying to find a good one. Although this church was not the right one, they did have a baptism renewal ceremony for those who've been baptised can come up and drip some water on their forehead, and pray. I prayed for a baby. At that point I was still a week and a half from my period and was still hopeful for that month. But honestly I am kind of glad it was a bust. Because now hopefully this new Dr can figure out what is wrong. The last 3 haven't so maybe 4th times a charm?

I feel soooooo horrible!

Holy cow I haven't had cramps this bad since I was like 14. I just want to crawl in bed and sleep the rest of the day. Unfortunately, having a 2 year old prevents me from doing that. Instead, we are having a lazy day in the living room playing with some toys and watching TV.

In other news we set up an appointment with a RE. However now I have to reschedule it because Husband will be gone. Since the RE is only in the office on Thursdays in the afternon, that cuts down on when I can remake the appt. But Thursdays are also my only day with no class so it kind of works out nicely.

Speaking of class, it starts tomorrow. I am a little nervous. Mostly because new place, new people, and not knowing ANYONE. But son is excited about going to school! He keeps asking if we are going when we get in the car. I am making his backpack for daycare. Since it has to hold a blanket and pillow, extra clothes, and his schoolwork it has to be decent size, but small enough for him to carry. It is adorable and blue and green with a choo choo on the front, he is going to LOVE IT!!

Onto cycle 15

Well, that clomid cycle was a fail. Oddly enough I am not really sad like I was last time. I think it is because I knew it was coming. So now I am waiting on a call back from the nurse at my OBGYN for a rec for a RE. I already have one picked out, but want to hear what they think about them as well. It would be a bit of a drive, about 45 minutes, but they have really good success rates. And thats the point of all of this, SUCCESS.

This is a long cycle

Today is CD 28. This is one of the longest cycles I have had in a while. Usually my period arrives like 4 days ago. However this was a wacky cycle. If I did ovulate it was on CD 18 which is 2 days later than last cycle. So that puts me at 10 dpo which is 1 day longer than last cycle. I am giving it until Saturday to test only because husband is going out of town Sunday.

Impending period...

Its going to happen. I have my period symptoms. Sore boobs, pissy, crampy. Its just a matter of time. My temps are still up but I give it a few more days. I am on CD 26 which is 3 days longer than my last cycle, but I also O'd I believe 2 days later. However I am not 100% sure if I did or not because I missed 2 days of temping.

My progesterone was 7.5 this month. That is really low for a medicated cycle from what I have been reading. I give my period a few more days. I am not hopeful this cycle at.all.

On to researching good REs for real now...

Cranky mean ladies

So I am a member of an online forum website. It has multiple forums, and some of them are for IF. I don't post on them but I do lurke. What really makes me mad is when a woman who is longing for a baby sooooo bad gets pissy when another woman already has one. Especially when the women that do have kids have the audacity to bring the kid to a RE office. Hey jerks she is obviously there for issues similar to yours. Why do you hold such contempt for something you are wanting so bad.

Did they ever think for one effing second that these women were lucky enough to have one but want more? Or is that realm of thinking past your small minds? In a few years are you going to be the woman with a child wanting more? You have no one to watch your child for these multiple appointments or can't afford more child care because the cost of the treatments she is undergoing is already putting a strain on her financials. And who knows maybe what helped get her pregnant the first time isn't working this time and she may be having worse problems than you are. Get.Over.Yourself!

So please stop thinking about YOUR empty nurseries and think about theirs. They are there for the EXACT same reason you are so get off your damn high horses and think about others. Get over yourself. The fact of the matter is that there are babies in the world. Thousands of them. You are going to see them at the mall, church, Drs offices, on the street, on the bus, etc. You can't avoid seeing other peoples babies unless you stay home. Babies.are.a.fact.of.life. So quit the wah I had to see a baby complaints and think hey I hope we are all able to get pregnant soon!

Phlebotemists are the devil!

So last night we drove down to Kenosha so I could give a blood sample. It is to test my progesterone to see if I ovulated. Well we get there I sign in and wait to be called back. Finally I go back and get chatty with the lady. She goes to find my vein and she thinks she finds it and pokes me. Miss. So she moves it around and tries to get it in the vein. As she is trying, another nurse comes in. We are talking while the first lady is still poking around in my arm. Then she drops the freakin needle!!! It was still in my arm!
So first lady says she is all done and lets lady #2 to do it. Lady #2 feels around for a good while. She finally finds a vein to poke. Half way down my forearm on the other arm. So now I have two bruises on each arm and they are too painful to pick up my son.

In other news, we found a daycare for our son last night. We needed a place that is open late because I will have some night classes and husband travels (seems to be traveling alot more this year already up to four trips in the next 3 months, including Australia). This place isn't near as nice as others I have seen but they have a good program, nice people, etc. The only thing I really don't like is their food menu. It consists of corndogs, sloppy joes, poptarts, brownies, etc. So I think I will be packing his dinner on those Tuesday nights.

Classes start a week after next so I have this coming wek to get it all straightened away!

Here is the deal-i-o

So I was asked why we will be waiting until March if this month is a bust. The answer is that I just got into grad school and I want to take off a whole semester when the baby(ies?) comes. If we get pregnant between Jan and March baby would be born October through December. Plus there would be a very good chance that our current little boy would share a birthday to the new one and we want to spread it out more.

What does clomid do? Clomid is used for women who do not ovulate on their own or do not ovulate very strong on their own (for me it was the first). Provera is used to start a woman's period. This is usually used when a woman has a super long cycle (45+days, usually closer to 60+).

CD=cycle day, CD 1 is the first day of your period
RE=reproductive endocrinologist, the Dr that preforms IUIs, IVF, etc he figures out how to make infertile people fertile.
LP, LPD=Luteal Phase, Luteal Phase Defiency, your LP is the time between when you ovulate and when you get your period. When it is less than 10 days it is considered defective
IUI, IVF=InterUterine Insemination (this is what Kate+8 did) the Dr monitors you for follicles and injects sperm into the uterus to acheive a pregnancy. IVF is Invitro Fertilzation, where the dr gives you drugs to create a lot of follicles to have an egg retrieval (giant needle into ovary to retrieve) then fertilizes the eggs with sperm, and then freezes the extras and transfers the amount agreed upon (2-4 usually).
PCOS=Polycycstic Ovarian Syndrome, affects many women and is usually a major cause of IF. Symptoms are Insulin resistance (body can't process insulin), cysts on Ovaries (not always), facial hair, and increased testosterone
O=ovulate
BCBS=blue cross blue shield
IF=infertility
OPK=ovulation predictor kit, pee sticks that detect your LH surge to tell you when you are most fertile
LH=lutenizing hormone, the hormone released when you ovulate
TSH=thyroid stimulating hormone, the hormone your thyroid creates
Progesterone=hormone released after you ovulate, depending on how strong you ovulate depends on how high the level is. On a medicated cycle a good number is over 15.
KU=knocked up
Anymore questions about this just ask!

Tomorrow I go in for a blood draw to see what my progesterone levels are. Last cycle my level wa only 13.51. That compounded with a LPD is probably why I didn't get KU last cycle. Hopefully it is a higher number this time and a longer LPD.

Limbo

So my temps still haven't shifted. I don't really know what that means. Have I or haven't I ovulated? Today s CD 19. By this time last cycle my boobs felt like they had been used for punching bags. So maybe there is still hope. My OBGYN's office is kind of dense when it comes to all this I believe. If this cycle is a bust I will be going to a Reproductive Endocrinologist. We will not be trying until March if this is a bust because I want to be able to take off a whole semester from school.

Last month my Luteal Phase (time between Ovulation and period) was really short, like 7 days short. Anything under 10 days is considered deficient. LPD can prevent pregnancy or result in a miscarriage. When I mentioned this to the nurse she didn't say anything about it either way. This is why I will be going to a RE if this is a bust.

Owie!

I woke up today feeling horrible. I am so tired and my lower abdomen hurts so bad. Its crampy and I have been having sharp pains especially when I sit upright. I don't know if this means I am O'ing or cysts or what. All I know it hurts so bad and don't feel good. I want to go to bed but probably won't.

Fertility friend says I still haven't ovulated, but I am not sure if my temperatures have been correct. I think the thermometer may be dieing...we will see